Hard Act to Follow?

Ciao Bloggisti!

By now you’ve all heard about Obama winning the Nobel Peace Prize. Boy, was that a surprise! Not that the man didn’t deserve it. Just wasn’t expecting it, is all. Am looking forward to seeing what the folks at SNL are going to make of the whole thing.

But I had an even bigger surprise a couple weeks ago. While on my way to work, listening to the fantabulous Luca Bottura on Radio Capital, I had the shock of my (relatively) young life. Bottura announced that (gasp, horror!) there was an official committee to promote the nomination of Silvio Berlusconi for the 2010 Nobel Peace Prize. And it was no joke! There’s an official site and everything, in Italian and Itanglish, where you can find out how to make donations to “back Silvio Berlusconi’s candidady (huh?!? Is that like becoming his sugar daddy??? Eww, no grazie!). You can also find out  why Silvio is on a par with Jimmy Carter, Muhammad Yunus and Al Gore. Truly thrilling science fiction.

But it gets more awesome. There’s even an official song/anthem, called La Pace Può (Peace Can). Are you ready for it, kids?? (warning: children, expectant mothers and diabetics are advised against watching this masterpiece)

Now be honest, did you throw up in your mouth just a little?

For those of you who don’t know Italian and couldn’t grasp the pure poetry of Loriana Lana’s lyrics, here’s an approximate translation of the first verse. Barf bags ready?

Peace can,
I will repeat
these words endlessly.
And the wind will be the one to spread it
and the world shall listen.
Peace can,
see for yourself
Abruzzo wakes up in disbelief.
Snow and sun
that meet,
and your hand is here.
There is a President
always present
that will accompany us.

He put his hand where?!? Now, how can our Silvio win the Nobel Peace Prize with lyrics like that? At least Obama had Michael Franti. Berluska clearly needs our help. Let’s come up with something better so that the great man at least has  a fighting chance. Am very much looking forward to your suggestions (anche in Italiano se volete)!

Magic Italy!

Ciao Bloggisti!

I’ve been noticeably (or not!) absent from the blogosphere for a number of reasons. Mostly because I haven’t been inspired to write, which is strange considering all that’s been going on in Italy  (elections, Papi, etc.). Maybe the Milanese mosquitoes have sucked the lifeblood out of me. Or perhaps I was just plain disgusted at the non-stop media circus surrounding all things Berlusconi. But strangely enough, thanks to Papi Silvio, I have found my mojo again. And its name is Magic Italy!

Behold the majestic logo, the flourish of the Tricolore, the shining star peeking demurely from behind the “c”, the sand dunes in the background. Yes, I know what you must all be thinking. How can so much awesomeness be possible? Why, it’s all the handiwork of Berlusconi and Red Sonja, the new Minister for Tourism. She proudly announced on the news that the Prime Minster had been personally working on Italy’s new tourism logo “for days”. Days! Now that’s dedication. And all that hard work has paid off. This will be the symbol of Italy’s rise from the ashes, the siren which will beckon the world to our mighty shores, the macaroni to our cheese!!

Ah, who am I kidding! It looks like the intro to an infomercial or as my husband said, the opening credits to a bad porno (and I have NO idea why he would know!). THIS is going to relaunch Italy’s flagging tourism industry? Um, my two year-old could have probably drawn a better logo in minutes, with his feet. Seriously.

So now it’s time for a little contest. Can you do better? Can you make up a logo for Italy’s Ministry of Tourism? Ask your children to take part as well. Come on people! Get your crayons and finger paints out!! And don’t worry if it takes “days”. Italy needs you!!!!

Here come the sons!

Ciao Bloggisti!

Big news everyone!! As you know, I’m a Beatlemaniac so when I read this article (courtesy of Abbey Rodent), I was so happy I started doing the Pharrell McDonald’s dance in the office:

While a Beatles reunion concert is sadly out of the question, Beatle fans may just get the next best thing: Julian & Sean Lennon, James McCartney, Dhani Harrison, and Zak & Jason Starkey are getting together for a series of concerts this summer.

Calling their outing the ‘Here Comes The Sons’ Tour, the surprising Beatles siblings “reunion” came about when Julian Lennon visited Friar Park, the home of the late George Harrison, at the request of Dhani Harrison and his mother Olivia, Harrison’s widow. Olivia had come across some George Harrison demos which George had intended to send to John Lennon in the months prior to Lennon’s tragic death. Harrison had recorded the demos trying to emulate Lennon’s voice, and decided that the songs were better suited for John. After Lennon’s passing, Harrison shelved the tapes, which were later discovered by Olivia.

Listening to the songs, Olivia also felt the songs needed a Lennon vocal and invited Julian Lennon to Friar Park to hear the demos. Julian listened and liked the songs, but thought that there were some parts that needed a higher, younger vocal register than he could muster. He rang up his half-brother Sean, and emailed an mp3 of a couple of the demos to the youngest Lennon. Both Lennon’s were excited about the songs and arranged to record them at Friar Park with Dhani and Sean doing the guitar parts.

Playbacks of the songs revealed to the young Harrison and Lennon Brothers that some distinctive bass and drum parts were needed. On a hunch, they rang Sir Paul McCartney to see if he might have interest in the project. Sir Paul politely refused, but suggested that perhaps his son, James, might be the man they needed to play bass. James McCartney arrived at the sessions with Zak & Jason Starkey, the sons of Beatles drummer Ringo Starr, who happened to be visiting the McCartney’s in London. The six Beatles siblings then went to work on the Harrison demos, and the finished results so pleased them, they decided that not only would they release the songs, they would also record additional original material for an album release, to be followed by a brief tour of the United States.

At a press conference held at Abbey Road Studios, the Beatles siblings made an official announcement of the tour and album release. “We’re all very excited by the songs”, Dhani Harrison beamed, “Dad really wanted John Lennon to record these songs, and in a way, I feel that we’re honoring his wishes”. “I’m very humbled that Olivia and Dhani asked me to listen to George’s demos”, chimed in Julian Lennon, “and I’m very happy that Sean is onboard this project too. We’ve been talking for years about doing something together, and these songs felt just right for us. And to have Dhani, James, Zak & Jason involved makes this a very special project as well”.

“Our Dads at first were a little leery about us doing this”, said James McCartney , referring to McCartney and Starr, “but after they heard what we put together, they gave us their blessings”.

“It’s funny in a way”, added Zak Starkey, “I’ve played with my Dad, The Who and Oasis, but playing with these guys, who are more or less as much brothers to me as Jason is, I’m really excited at the prospect of going on the road with them”. When asked who came up with the idea of calling the tour ‘Here Comes The Sons 2006′, Dhani Harrison raised his hand. “Guilty!’, he laughed, joined by the other five. “After all, I made the phone call!”, which elicited another round of laughter from the group. The tour kicks off at Irving Plaza in New York City on April 1st. More dates to be announced. Stella McCartney will be designing the stage wear for the group.

I hope the tour makes its way to Italy. That would be a dream come true.

 

Would you go to the Beatle offspring concert? Or do you prefer Offspring? Discuss!

Big Mac, Filet-O-Fish, Quarter Pounder, French Fries, Icy Coke, Milkshakes, Sundaes and Apple Pie!

Ciao Bloggisti!

I was about to go to bed but decided to go on Dlisted for one last dose of dirty gossip. BIG MISTAKE! Now I’m going to have nightmares of Pharrell Williams dancing inside a Paris McDonald’s, begging for apple pie at six in the morning. And no, I’m not on drugs. But thanks for asking!

If you don’t believe me, have a look for yourself:

Now, I love Pharrell but that song & dance number was a superfail. And unimpressive. I mean, this is a man who’s worked with Madonna and all he got was “just breakfast”.

Poor guy! Who can blame a traveller for craving a taste of home while in a foreign country. Us expats can relate to Pharrell’s predicament. I once cheated on my beloved Tim  Horton and ate a stale Burger King donut in Milan because I was just that desperate.

I’d love to hear the bizarre cravings you’ve had on holiday or while abroad.  Have you ever sung for your supper?

Oh, and if you’re interested in “just breakfast” take a look at my friend Pickle Pea’s blog. I want that toast now!

 

One more thing before I forget, I just wanted to announce the winner of the giveaway. It’s NYC/Caribbean Ragazza! Congrats and I hope you enjoy the book!!

Itanglish Korner

Ciao Bloggisti!

One of the things I love about this country is it’s reverence for the English language. It made life as a new immigrant a lot easier for me. I found a job as an English teacher almost immediately and I could have worked night and day had I wanted to. I’ve taught hundreds of people, from kids to police officers, from senior executives to actors. Yes, English lessons have become more fashionable than a pair of Louboutins. In spite of all the teaching that’s going on, somehow Italians don’t have the best grasp of the language. And the mistakes I see are always good for a cheap chuckle. Which is why I’ve decided to inaugurate a new feature: the Itanglish Korner, a sort of Engrish alla pizzaiola . Like the time last week when I went to El Brellin restaurant in the heart of Milan’s Navigli district. A beautiful, elegant place with traditional Milanese dishes like Osso Buco and Risotto. And lo and behold, the menu was in Italian and English. Perfect! Well, not exactly. I was more than a little perplexed the description of one dish, which boasted a delicious sauce of “anchovies straining”. It took a lot of wine to get the image of constipated fish out of my mind.

And just the other day while going for a walk in town, I came across this poster for a local fair, featuring a number of “international” artists, including everyone’s favourite grunge band:

Ha! I’m torn between Perl Giem and the musical stylings of Maury & Mary. Hmmm….

Anyway, the next time I see a terribly-translated menu or any other distortion of the English language, I’ll let you know. And if you have any Itanglish you’d like to share, send ‘em in. The more the merrier!

LaToya are you okay?

Ciao Bloggisti!

Enough of Paris for the moment. Let’s talk about LaToya Jackson! Or maybe I should let the marvellous Michael K at DListed do the talking. Jacko dressed as Charo! Ha!!

I loved that post so much that I dedicated a special Disco 2000 muscial medley to that horrifying mental image.

So here’s Jacko:

And here’s Miss Charo, featuring Red Green on bongos:

So, who do you think LaToya’s inspiration was?

Poo poop pee doo!

Chock full of political nuts

Ciao Bloggisti!

This week I feel kinda poopy. Had a bit of the stomach flu over the weekend and didn’t even want to turn the computer on. The only exciting thing that happened was that we chose our kitchen furniture for the new house. : ) Last year we moved into our place which underwent major Money Pit renovations. It’s liveable now but we’re still using the old kitchen. So we’re finally finishing things up and maybe, just maybe by the end of the summer I will have my dream kitchen. Btw, does anyone know anything about professional-style ranges? We don’t know where to begin looking. Anyhoo, while we were in the town of the kitchen store, we had a snack at a really cute, design-y wine bar. Good service, nice piadina with prosciutto crudo and rucola. Odd to find a place like that in the middle of Brianza. But I was already feeling kinda pooped and didn’t even think to take pictures of the place for y’all. And speaking of poopiness, I’m going to talk about Italian politics. How’s that for a segue?

As most of you must know by now, this weekend is the Italian General Election. It’s been a pretty ho-hum campaign for Italian standards but I managed to find some interesting and outrageous articles, soundbites and posters. Here is my election roundup:

• - A frightening excerpt from a New York Times article on portly fringe candidate Giuliano Ferrara:

“Mr. Ferrara’s campaign seems a cry for life in a country steeped in death and decline. Still, the campaign can be surreal. When a health inspection found that an illegal, late-term abortion had been performed on a fetus with Klinefelter’s Syndrome, whose symptoms include small testicles and large breasts, Mr. Ferrara said that was no grounds to abort. He said he, too, might have the syndrome — and anyone who doubted him could take a look.” If you’re curious here’s what Ferrara looks like (dressed, of course!)

• The outrageously offensive poster from conservative, secessionist and anti-immigration party Lega Nord:

Translation: “They were victims of immigration and now they’re living on reserves. Think about it.” WTF!!!

• A funny albeit grotesque article from the Toronto Star on the Babe Quotient in Italian politics. A choice excerpt on the lack of good-looking female politicians on the left:

“Among the worthy women of the left – one of the best-looking is transgender Refounded Communist deputy Vladimir Luxuria.” Sad but true.

And of course, since it’s Friday, I can’t forget about music. Today we have a special Election edition of Disco 2000. Oh what a selection I have for you today!! You’ll be humming the tunes for years to come.

The first is about the centre-left party Partito Democratico and its leader Walter Veltroni. The unofficial anthem is a takeoff on the Village People’s YMCA and is called “I’m PD” (even if they sing “I AM PD”). After seeing the video, I’m sure you can understand why the Village People protested against the improper use of their fine song.

Très hokey and cheesy but not as vomit-inducingly bad as this piece of… of…. musical poo. Silvio Berlusconi’s official campaign song, “Meno Male Che Silvio C’è” (Thank Goodness for Silvio) was specifically made to incite feelings of pride and hope in Italy’s future with our pal Silvio. A future of ice cream and call centres. Yes, thank goodness for Silvio!!

My ears!! My eyes!! After seeing those videos I don’t know if I’ll be well enough to vote this weekend. Wish me luck!

Buon weekend and happy voting !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!